Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Man Eater on the Loose

Early Sunday morning I woke, just after the sun rise, to hit the road running.  Whichever direction I plan to go I walk for about 2/10 of a mile before I start really moving.  I decided to go North, of course, it’s up hill.  I passed my neighbor’s house…all cute and tidy.  The woman of the home has years of experience in gardening…not just vegetables, but flowers.  Everything is strategically placed and perfect.  The sunflowers are tied to the North side of the house, facing East, beaming with vibrant colors.  The lavender is spilling out over the side of the road with it’s fragrant flowers reaching towards the top rung of their fence.  A new addition just this year is a fairly large garden with a few beautiful tomato plants.  They look nothing like mine…they are just perfect; round, ripe red fruit with it’s plants tied neatly to a wooden support.  I always have this urge to hop the fence and pull a few tomatoes, but reality sets in.  I have about five tomato plants of my own.  I’m sure the tomatoes are just as good regardless of the appearance.

Nevertheless, I continue moving and notice a few tomatoes on the side of the road with large teeth marks; definitely not human teeth marks.  Still walking, I turn my head and look over my shoulder…as if I’m going to see a werewolf.  Nothing.  I look front again.  There’s a rustle in the shrubs; I hear something coming.  And out of nowhere this animal jumps out of mid-air and tackles me to the ground.

Naaah, that was just my overactive imagination.  Nothing jumped out at me…I just walked a little further and started my jog, only to return home 3 1/2 miles later without incident.  B-O-R-I-N-G.  Sorry to spoil the excitement. 

I’ve always been a fan of horror movies.  But the good ones…Psycho, John Carpenter’s Halloween…good ones.  Yes, I’m a fan, but it scares the pants off of me.  I said it earlier, I have an overactive imagination; even after the film stops my mind is racing.  My fear of being stalked by Michael Myers definitely affects my morning runs, but maybe it’s a good thing: I try to avoid unlit streets before the sun comes up, I run in a zig zag pattern when I can, I run across the street from parked cars and I always carry a knife.  Just kidding about the knife.  But, really, would you be surprised?  I didn’t think so.

During most of my morning excursions I’m excited to see someone walking to get the paper, or letting the dog out.  I’m even more relieved when I see a fellow runner.  It gives me a feeling of comfort and safety…but then again I’m all alone.  Ch-ch-ch-Ha-ha-ha.  Yikes!  I run faster until I hit the driveway, my ‘home base’.  Then I spend five stressful minutes fighting with the garage door keypad.  I’m like Lori Strode struggling to find her keys to the house while Myers is just steps behind her.  I really need to have the hubby take a look at that.  It could save my life one day.