Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Soft toes; gentle hands

Crazy day...
Day one of being on call. It's not a challenge to actually handle issues as they come in (whether day or night); it's most challenging to get to work by 8 am. Day care is a total of 10 miles away from work and I only live one mile away.
Most of these mornings are spent rushing, no matter how much I prepare the night before. I go without breakfast (never good) and always forget to take my vitamins, even when I put them in my purse. I don't bother packing my gym clothes because I can't get there during these days. Lunch is typically rushed, too. It just the most physically, mentally and emotionally unhealthy week. And they come once every few months.
I rush out of work at 5 pm to get Ava. After leisurely chatting with Ava's teachers I battle darkness and traffic through my drive home. By about 5:45 we're getting dinner on the table and I'm trying to unwind. Did I mention that I only live 1 mile from work?
So after the routine of cleaning up there's some play time, before we take a bath and settle into our night night routine. Usually about this time I'm stressing about having to do it all over again tomorrow. Shit.
But that only lasted for five minutes tonight.
I attentively watched Ava pull each of her books from the neat pile I made in a corner of the family room. She'd take a book and find a spot to sit down. She extended her legs, with her ankles naturally flexed and toes subconsciously wiggling, placed the book across her lap and began to read. She'd blabble some words, then smooth her hand over the page until she reached the top right hand corner of the book. She would then ruffle the pages until she felt just one and then turned the page. After finishing a book she got up and repeated the process all over again.
I was dazed. I think I could have watched this all night. I think I relaxed for that moment.
I wanted to grab her wiggly toes and hold her soft hand in mine. I wanted that time to never end.
I appreciated that quiet mental time.
But, that'll all be gone tomorrow. I'm on call ya know!




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