Sunday, November 24, 2013

Crap

Crap. 
I guess I haven’t posted anything since the end of September.  Yikes.  Well, I guess the three of you who read this crap are pretty pissed.  Or, you’re relieved that I haven’t had the time to produce this shitty blog.  Sorry to disappoint…this post is going to be published.  So much is going on.  I can’t pick just one thing…it’s possible that I could have forgotten more than I remember, at this point. 
Let me get you up to speed:
  • I continue to run my little arse off which has resulted in me breaking PR’s.  (yay). 
  • I’m about 10 months of being 98% Paleo, resulting in little to no discomfort/pain and a loss of roughly 10 more lbs.
  • I am seriously reconsidering my career.  This process is dragging my emotions through the hot coals, but I’ll emerge a stronger person (as long as I don’t destroy myself – a delicate balance).
  • My yoga, now more than ever, supports me.  Another segment of my teacher training is in the books.  One to go! 
  • I found a wonderful group of women who actually like to run at least three times a week at a good pace EARLY IN THE MORNING. 
  • I survived two weeks of single parenting (and working full time) while the hubbs romped around Europe.  Kudos to me for preparing home cooked meals every week day!
  • I just ended a two day (what was looking like four day) jury duty.  I sat on a trial that ultimately ended with the defendant pleading guilty.
Now that we’re all caught up…
This past Saturday, I decided to save myself from irresponsible mother of the year, by taking Ava to the local library.  She had renewed a book from her school library, but I wasn’t able to finish the read before it was returned.  In order to keep the story rolling, and make for a fun activity, I pulled the family together after breakfast for a trip to the library.  Just out of gas, we pulled into the bustling parking lot.  Of course, there was a weekend event at the community center consisting of bake sales, a craft fair, silent auction and a used book sale.  Much to my dismay, I parked in the ‘staff only’ lot and we moved quickly through the cold into the front of the building.  The library was situated immediately to the right, just between two mobs of people.  We split the middle and crossed the threshold. 
Years have passed since I set foot in a library.  If I remember correctly, I used the library to hang out or sleep, not as a place to actually get work done, or even (get out!) read.  While studying English during my undergrad, I occasionally sifted through the types of careers possible with my background.  Being a librarian (or whatever fancy name they have now) never crossed my mind.  I didn’t think of it as much of a career and I certainly couldn’t figure out that decimal system.  Numbers were never a strength for me; not sure why I would be interested in mixing numbers and letters. 
We walked to the children’s section, but soon realized we had no clue how to find the book.  I found a PC close by to search for the book in question.  As an IT professional, I found it annoying that the machine was SOOOOO SLOW.  With time, the search returned a few results, but none seemed on the money.  A link was presented to try the search on Google, but the library’s network had all search engines blocked.  FOR.THE.LOVE.OF.NANCY. We decided to ditch this method and go back to Plan A – just start looking.  Of course, we found the series of books, but ‘#1’ in the series wasn’t there.  Ava settled on another volume and Allison picked out a dinosaur book.  We quickly maneuvered through people and displays to wait in the check out line. 
We decided to get three library cards – one for Ava, one for me and one for the Mr.  The lovely, and thorough, woman (we will call her Mulva) behind the counter took our driver’s licenses to begin the address verification process.  She handed us three applications for us to complete.  Although Ava is only five, she needed to sign her own application.  She was excited to help fill out the form.  During this time, an older man stepped in line behind us.  He actually decided to bypass the true end of the line.  He waited.  And waited.  And waited.  He stood so close behind me I swore I felt his stale breath on the back of my hair.  I could almost feel him losing his patience.   Mulva, still taking her time, continued to enter our information into the computer, when Mr. Crotch let out a sigh and firmly asked, ‘What’s going on here?’  Yes.  I was waiting for this moment.  I informed Mr. Crotch that we were getting library cards.  ‘Cards?’ he asked.  ‘Yes, Mr. Crotch (implied), library cards.’  I can’t recall what he said in return, but he couldn’t believe that it was taking *this* long.  Not soon enough, Crotch was helped by another person behind the desk – pissing off the group in which he cut.  Good time.  
Mulva asked me and the hubbs if we’d like to authorize someone else to pick up books for us.  We both declined.  Then Mulva informed me that although Ava is five, she needed to ask her the same question in order to maintain the appropriate level of privacy.  Ahem.  Excuse me?  Since when did the library regulations become so stringent.  And really?  I am Ava’s legal guardian.  At this stage of the game, I can trump her decisions.  Ridiculous.  Of course, Ava didn’t really understand the question which prompted me to re-state with words Ava would understand.  Thank GOD she gave me the authority to pick up books for her.  Really?
But wait…
It gets better.
Proud Mulva handed me Ava’s library card and gave Ava a sticker that read “I got my library card today.”  I knew, as any parent with more than one child, that Alli would be upset if she didn’t have a sticker, too.  In an innocent tone, I asked Mulva if I could get a sticker.  She kindly replied that the stickers were for the children.  I informed Mulva that I also got a library card and should get a sticker.  Nope.  Apparently, she was going to be a stickler for enforcing the age limit (whatever the hell that really means).  So much for that angle.  I just blurted out - “Then, can I just have a sticker for her younger sister even though she didn’t get a card?”  Mulva, in all seriousness, responded, “I guess I can break the rules this one time,” as she handed me a sticker.  Really?  W.T.F.
I still can’t get over this library situation.  I find it amusing that there’s a privacy component.  It’s fascinating that in the world of health care (in which I’m most familiar) I make all the decisions for my five year old little girl, but when it comes to library services I’m a piece of crap.  Oh, Mulva…is that your real name?