Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Finish What Ya Started

We're all victim to starting a project and failing to follow through.  Sometimes I start a book and fail to complete it for a multitude of reasons.  I’ve been known to start organizing an area of my home only to get distracted and move on to something else.  Last year I did say that I’d start and finish a tee-shirt quilt.  Well, I got the started part down; this calendar year I’ll follow through on the completion.  Perhaps 2013 will be a year of smoothing out the frayed ends; I’m going to bring everything back full circle.

Believe it or not I blogged about being a ‘yoga school drop out’ back in August of 2010.  I touched upon my internal struggles with the environment around me, which turned out to be my blossoming insecurities.  In one respect I felt I wasn’t good enough; in another I was too good for the people around me.  After time I realized my faults, accepted them and changed my tune.  I always wondered what would have happened if I continued on that path. 

A local studio offered an informational session on their upcoming teacher training.  This intense training would occur over the course of about one year totaling two hundred hours which would make me eligible for a certification with the Yoga Alliance.  ‘Back in the day’, this was the goal for me and my teaching.  As a yoga teacher, obtaining a certification with the Alliance is a great foundation.  I tried to go for it years back but one thing led to another and yadda, yadda, excuse, excuse.  I decided to go to the info session and see what was up.  Not only was the program offered close to home, but the schedule was more manageable than other registered yoga school programs.  I immediately wanted to jump on the opportunity, but I knew this level of commitment would need to get approval by the Admiral. 

After some discussion over the schedule and future planning, hubbs agreed that this training could fit into our lives.  I quickly shot of an email that only read, ‘I’m in’.  Almost immediately the reality of the time commitment and training subject started to sink in. 

Here’s my inner discussion -

I’m nervous to start this process all over again, but I believe that during this point in my life I need this.  I had a rough end to 2012 and bringing yoga studies back into my life part time will give me the ability to rekindle my ability to ‘chill out’.  I spent years trying to tame the anger that lives deep inside of me.  Some recent events prevented me from channeling that anger; it’s actually scary.  I feel as if I’ve unlearned the still of letting things roll off my shoulders.  

My commitment to this training will also mean that I will not have an aggressive running schedule like I did in 2012.  Based on the class dates, I will be missing at least two big races of the year – St. Patty’s Day 5K & the Runner’s World Half Marathon.  I’m slowly becoming okay with missing the second race.  Hey, there’s always next year.  I wanted to run another marathon in the fall, but with the NYC mess still being organized a lottery might not even happen.  Running Philly again could be cool, but the time commitment for training might not pan out.  I’m almost okay with that too. 

YOGA got me out of some pretty rough situations.  Lately, I’ve been able to RUN from the demons that live within me.  Imagine how truly awesome it’ll be when I tie these two things together.